I know it wasnt fully your fault but I was angry and frustrated.

Then you left without any notice.

We had a text war which ended pretty ugly.

You were not meant to be alone.

You chose to be alone.

Sometimes you made certain decisions for yourself which lead to your loneliness without your consciousness.

So when you feel lonely, stop and look back for a minute.

Its those whom you have left behind that are meant to be alone because they did not have a choice.

I am glad you came back.

I hope more people can realise that they are not alone…

Because no one is. No one should be.

I was trying to write a serious piece of entry but everything I typed appeared stupid and shallow. What has become of me? I really want to be able to write like how I used to. The ability to express my feelings precisely with wider a choice of vocabulary. I dont know what has happened to me. Is it my memory that is playing tricks on me or is there a change in my perception?

I enjoyed writing because I thought that way, my feelings could be understood better by others. Do I no longer need others to understand my feelings or do I no longer have complex feelings that need to be expressed?

I have been very happy recently and this could be the most relaxed period of my life since a long time. It is so blissful that I wish the clock could stop ticking so I can remain at this state and not move on. But of course I would have to face whatever that is going to be thrown at me, it is only inevitable.

For the first time in my life, I have a practical and realistic plan for myself. It is a plan I could see myself through and stand triumphantly at the other end and I am going to do it. It is also a plan to achieve one of my dreams. I have always wanted to be a psychologist and I could still be. I have decided to take a PostGrad Dip in Psychology after I graduate with a degree in Bachelor of Commerce. 5 years after, I can be a registered Psychologist. It is my dream and this time, I will make it.

I am going to Rottnest Island with Bhav and a few friends later and will be coming back on Tues. I am supposed to wake up in 4 hrs and I am still awake. Goodnight people. Do not give up on your dreams because someday, you will get your chance to achieve it.

xxxxx

Today one of my housemates, Irvine, sort of stood a girl up.

They were to meet at 4pm at uni to go to the city but when he reached there and didnt see her, he left.

When he came back to the flat after 40mins(30mins for journey to and back from uni), Hugo(another housemate) and I was puzzled. What happened to the date? I thought he liked that girl a lot?

After a few minutes of probing, he said that he shouldn’t show that he is very attracted to her or else she’ll get big headed. I dont know about you, girl but I would get a damn bad impression if a guy stood me up on our first date. The reason that he didnt call her is because she didnt have a local phone number yet(new international student) but come on! Wait for at least 15 minutes?

I once waited for a guy friend I barely knew for over an hour. I made one of my ex boyfriends wait for me for over an hr too(sorry CF lol) and he didnt even call me to rush me! I mean it basic courtesy to wait a little bit before calling or leaving an appointment isnt it?

He then proceeded to say that his time is very precious and all. I just kept saying that he girl wont want him anymore! lol. Oh well. I dont know about you but I personally cannot tolerate such mindset.

Feeling hungry again at 4.18am.

xxxx

Woohoo.

I am back from Kuching! I think I wont be going to Kuching anymore for a very long time cause my mum and I uprooted our Sarawakian root when we were back this trip!

Yup! We pack every single thing from a box of half used tissue to our threadmill and they would be shipped to KL in no time. Thats why I havent blogged for so long lo… Busy ma…

Spent New Year’s Eve at Midvalley with the bunch of kids and the fireworks were greaaaaattttttttttt. Havent seen such nice fireworks since when I was a kid which was long time ago… oh well…

2008 now… going to hit 23 in Aug. *sigh* Someone kill me. 23 seems horribly old. OMG and I am 8 months away! Sucks.

Am actually going back to Aussie on in a few days’ time to take up some summer course. Fortunately a friend is in the same class as me or I really would be depress having to go back 2 months earlier when most people are still in their home country.

I am going to miss The Guy a lot despite him being the meanie. But he will be visiting me in April and I cant wait! The weather should be just nice by then

Btw, today I have learnt that the bloggersphere is actually very complicated and sleazy and corrupted.  Wont name names and tell incidents but there are several people that I really do not like already. Why cant personal blogs be personal blogs anymore? I cannot back out because I have to be in it with him because thats our link. But I really cannot stand this pretentious place anymore. I need some plans.

xoxo

p/s : The Guy did not cheat on me or anything la. He just did something which he didnt know would upset me and did not pacify me =\

I havent written anything worth reading for a long, long time.

Human beings are really interesting creatures. Our minds are so great and influential. I used to be really stubborn about certain things in my life which affected be significantly in a negative context and I could not get out of it at all even though I told everyone, including myself, that I have tried really hard and there was nothing left for me to do.

Now, I see a really foolish and stubborn girl when I look back when doing some self evaluation. From tying myself down to my past to what I am today, I am a much happier person. I dont really know what changed my mind, really. Its as if I woke up one day and found myself being released from the pain I was suffering from. At that moment, I felt so stupid for wasting my life, my time on something that had happened and cannot altered although it was something really saddening.

I felt really proud of myself then. I learned to appreciate was in the present and work for the future. I also learned that I have to find happiness and it wont come to be if I just sit around and be sad. From a very passive person, I have turned into a more active person and I am sure many people out there whom are tying themselves down to their problems can do it as well.

We really shouldnt complain so much about our lives. Afterall, if you can afford internet, I am sure your life is already better than a lot of people.

Appreciate your life; be happy.

I have been a much happier person recently.

I made a lot of new friends and non of them are from Malaysia. Well, non of them are even Asians. And I really enjoy their company. Went to Helen’s Bday party one Saturday and it was an eye opener. I was one of the only 2 Asian girls out of 30-40 people from US, Europe and Aus there and heck, I didnt feel out of place at all.

In fact, it was the best party I have ever attended. It was a party I have enjoyed myself the most. I even drank two bottles of liqour(ppl who knows me know that I dont really like to drink)! It was a toga party and everyone turned up in their toga(bedsheet/curtain) and I admire their spirit so much. If I were to throw a toga party in M’sia, I am sure it would have been a failure.

I remember bitching about my housemates being noisy and stuffs at the begining of this semester but.. but… I love them all now!

I really admire them in someways. In the way that they were brought up, their thinking, their attitude and spirit. And they inspire me a lot. It is during this time when I feel really fortunate to be a Malaysia because I am able to communicate well with both the Western and Eastern people. I am really glad that I did not stick only Asians like my two Chinese housemates because making friends with the westerners really broaden my mind.

Before this I never thought I’ld be able to play beach volleyball like how I am able to now. I never thought that I would be able to play tennis like I am able to now. These people are so supportive and encouraging that you’ld still feel happy even if you played crappy.

I love them. I gained my self esteem back from them. My self-confidence too. I feel so good now! I am not worried about being a size 8 anymore! I am not worried about being tanned anymore! I am not worried about a lot of things anymore because my housemates showed me that they live much happier without worrying much. Things will fall into places as things proceed.

I cant put in words how much I appreciate what I have learned from them.

All I can say is, I am really glad that I came here. How foolish I was.

Next up : Pictures from the toga party.

I have been meaning to fast(to lost some weight) as well but I woke up at 9.50 with an empty stomach! Die die die! I am really pretty hungry now and the images of all sorts of food is flooding my mind. I want to eat steamboat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg. Particularly the one is Sunway. I want to eat the chicken tikka masalah I cooked as well. So nice

HOW?!

I really want to eat leh. But but…. Its only the first day…. I dont really want to ruin it =\

Shall I make tomorrow my first day?

Its pretty troublesome to do laundry here, especially when my flat is like… the furthest from the laundry room. What I normally do it I put my laundry basket and detergent and bacteria killer into a trolley(those from supermarkets) and push them al the way there! Its about 5 min’s walk.

Then the machines are some pain the ass loh. They only accept one-dollar coin and twenty cents coin. So annoying! I usually use 3 washing machines one go and then later 3 dryers. Its 2.20 per wash and 1.20 per dry. So I’ll need to have like… 9 one-dollar coins. Who would have so many lah!

So I usually have to run around asking for one-dollar coin before getting down to the real business =\

Then I usually wait int he laundry room instead of going back to my flat as it takes only 27 mins to wash. Dont really want to hog the washing machines. After that, it would be 20 mins’ wait for the dryer to do its work.

I went to do my laundry yesterday after…. 3 weeks, I think. Hehe. So yea, there were a lot of clothes to wash. As usual, I separate my clothes into 4 piles. Tops, bottoms and socks, towels and hand-wash ones.

What did I do to kill time while waiting for my clothes to dryyyy? I took pictures loh. Hehehehehehehehe.

Tada!

My pants and socks spinnnniinnggg

My tops spinnniinnngggg

My towels spinnnniiinnnngggg

Me with other ppl’s laundry

Me with the fake camwhore look

Peek-a-boo

Yes, I was sitting on the table

Other ppl’s laundry. Spot the undies!

Washing machines

Bigass sinks for ppl to hand-wash their clothes

The table I was sitting on

My bajus!

Yup. Thats about it. Had something else to say while I was uploading the pictures but I cant remember any of them now. Too bad.Ta!

I am blogging from one of uni’s lab while waiting for my groupmates to get here so we can discuss a case study one Reebok.

I went to the toilet just now and every cubicle has words written on the wall and door.

It sort of reminded me of the toilets we had in high school. I vandalized pretty often back then. I used to cut the table with the pen knife I kept in my pencil case, especially when I was in a bad mood. Hehe. But urm… thats all I do. No other harms done.

Anyway, I managed to finish the most hated assignment on time and it had to pour when I wanted to get out of my hostel to uni to hand it in. Luckily it didnt last long and guess what!

I saw a rainbow! Like a complete rainbowwww.

Just got a call from my groupmates. They are at another lab with the same name and asked me to walk there. =\\\\\

Rage. Why cant they walk here?

Rage!!!

Continue later. Bye.