A very strayed piece of writing

Yesterday I found out that it is confirmed that I must go to Aussie this July. There isnt any subjects left for me to take here. That means, I’ll be leaving the The Guy for some period of time. I really dont want to but am left with no choice. We have less than 5 months to spend time together until I graduate and get back here. That, saddens me.

We are both often occupied with different things and that makes things more difficult. It is really difficult for me to not see him. He has been a great support to me emotionally. He shown me many things and I dont want to lose all the moment.

It is so difficult. Like he always say, we will have to do to what we have to do. And I often wonder if this is what I have to do. I mean, its not even what I wanted. It doesnt make me happy. In fact, it pressured me a lot. Why must I do this to put myself through all this? Oh. It is all for my mother’s will.

Of course, it is also for my future. But to ensure that I will have a future, there are so many other ways. Such as studying something I like. There are other ways that I can be happy and have a future. Why must I be unhappy along the way? Oh. That is because I am not the one paying.

Like I have said in my previous post, money isnt everything. All the expenses are being paid but I am not happy, at all. I think what I want should be heard and be brought to attention. The era of “money makes the world go round” has past.

Emotions are setting in. Demands are setting in. Personal preferences are setting in. Most important of all, the wants for happiness are setting in.

I dont mean that we do not need money. We do but it is not everything. It is not the most important thing. In some matters, money cant help. Money cannot buy happiness. Money cannot buy the time I could be spending with The Guy. Money cant buy back my Dad’s life.

In some people’s eyes, I am just a stupid bitch whom doesnt appreciate what I have. But to me, they are the stupid bitches who are materialistic, they are the stupid bitches whom have not been through emotional pain. So I guess its even. Anyway,

Happiness > Money

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