I havent seen The Guy for only one day and I am missing him already. I always miss him. His presence alone makes me happy. Whenever I see him walk in the entrance of the house, something in me lightens up. No matter how troubled or how unhappy I was, I would feel better already.

Being with him, I feel like a little girl again. I do not need to worry about the things I normally have to. His lively character takes them away from me. He, being not pretentious, gives me trust and faith. Being with him, I do not need to put on a mask. Many people whom are dear to me have asked me to not put on a mask in front of them. But for him, I willingly discard the mask.

The patience he has shown, has proven his sincerity towards me. Despite me being unreasonable and extremely whiny at times, he still stays with me, trying his best to make things right. He has never left me behind. That, makes me feel remarkably secured. He might be careless sometimes, but I know he is trying his best to provide me what I expect from him. Its just me, being overly sensitive frequently.

I would trade the most valuable thing I have to just be with him forever. Being loved, being protected and being taken care by him, make me feel like the happiest woman.

Come back soon, Baby. I cannot wait to be embraced by you.

I am proud to be a Malaysian though I dont feel safe here anymore. Hehehe. However, you’re still the soil I grew up on.

Happy Birthday, Malaysia!

.:Editted 12.10pm:.

Okay. My mum just called me and told me that she missed her flight from Kuching to KL. Heh. I dont know why but I find it so funny. I am still laughing.

BWAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAA.

Okay.

That means I have got nothing to do today. The Guy went back to his hometown and mummy wont be here until tomorrow noon. I am a little lazie to call up my friends. Not sure if they are free anyway. So I think I’ll blog a lot of crap today.

I think I am going to nap. Ta!

.:Editted at 11.25pm:.

So I went to nap and woke up at 4pm. I feel like a pig sometimes. I can sleep so much during the day. Anyways, I went to have dinner with Poh Lim, whom I call Polly. He always complains that I never blog about him. Heres entry about you, Polly.

Polly and I met more than 2 years ago through Jason, a mutual friend. We were all Utopia kakis, you see. So we talked a lot online. He eventually became my closest friend! I mean, we can talk about anything. He is always there when I needed someone to talk to.

We have never met each other in real life, until tonite. Its funny how both of us can get so close so quickly. We send each other gifts on our respective birthdays and ocassions like christmas. He is a really smart and funny guy. When I am all sad and depress, he can effortlessly make me laugh and likewise. He always said that he would just sit there and laugh non stop when we eventually meet. But tonite, he did not.

Sounds like I am promoting him, but I am not. He is attached to his beautiful lass.

So he picked me up at about 7pm and headed to Yuen Steamboat. We waited for about 35 mins before we got seated. Our table was so far away from the chicken wings tray >.<
We had a competition. Prawn eating competition. Sounds childish but it was funny. I had 17 prawns and he had 14 after I stopped eating. Not wanting to lose, he went to get another 4 prawns and stuffed it down his already full stomach. The result, he barely could walk.

Polly with his prawn shells

Me with mine

Actually both of us could barely walk. We had 11 plates of food. Thats something… impressive. We had 2 pieces of crab leftover because our stomach were threatening to explode already. In short, it was a great dinner and funny too(ask him how he got us the chicken wings). It was great meeting you, Polly!

Ze polished plates

I am so full I cannot move!

I cant move too =\

So when want to yumcha?

“Girl : you just dont know what I want.”

“Boy : Thats because you never tell me what you want.”

Sounds familiar?

Well, it happens all the time in my life too. Situations like that are pretty frustrating for the guys and pretty saddening for the girls. The girls might feel that their boyfriend does not care about their wants etc etc. The guys will just be so frustrated because they do not know what is the right thing to do.

I dont think there is a solution for such situations. For one, the girls think that if everything needs to be said literally, then it loses its meaning already. Two, the guys will not know what the girls want them to do unless they are told too(and sometimes even when they are told, the might not want to do it). At times, the guys dont even know that they have already disappointed their girlfriends. That is some guys think that girls get angry/sad for no reason.

What do you do when such situations happen? I, will get very sad first. Then I will get frustrated and feel like strangling him. Then I’ll get tired of the situation. Then give in. The next thing I know is the cycle repeats itself.

I am aware that if these situations happen frequently, chances for a relationship to blow is higher. So sometimes I’ll just have to be a lil thick face and tell him what I want to just prevent something bad from happening. When I feel like I need to keep some pride in me, I’ll just keep quiet and try to forget and forgive his insensitiveness.

The worst these situations can get is when the girl can finally tolerate no more and one tiny winy mistakes can tick her off. That will be very difficult for the guy to calm her down, not to mention cheering her up.

Now heres a tip for the guys. If you already disappoint her, do not do/give/make what she initially hoped that you would do for her without her telling, after you find out what she wanted. That will make her super angry. The key is to calm her down first, then cheer her up, then do what she wants.

DO NOT ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS YOU TO DO. Thats a big no-no. Thats like adding salt to her wound.

*Attention : What I just mentioned above does not apply to everyone*

This is how I look without my under-eye concealer.

I am going to attempt sleeping. Goodnite!

I am so angry. The bugger neighbour decided to start his/her construction work early this morning. It was right beside my room. I was of course, still in bed. The drillings and hammerings. Can die. I slept at 6am, okay?!

I have serious sleeping disorder. No matter how tired I am, I wont be able to sleep after evening. I need sleeping pills but its not easy to obtain. *sigh* My dark circles can compete with pandas’ already.

I am so sleepy. Anyone knows how to get some sleeping pills legally without having to see a doctor? Dont worry. I am not suicidal. At least not now.

Buhbyez!

I know the banner looks funny but heck, its my birthday!

More updates later

.::Updated on 22nd Aug::.

19th Aug 2006 23:10

My mum called me to gimme a lesson about my spendings and said she wanted to take all my credit cards back and limited my monthly allowance to 2k(everything included) a month. So cham =(

Then she hung up without wishing my “Happy Birthday” at 23:55.

I turned back and look at The Guy whom was sleeping in my bed because he was having fever. So cham >.< I then crawled up next to him, preparing to just sleep the sadness off.

“what time is it?”, he asked. I told him. It was 3 mins to midnight. When its finally midnight, he asked me to fetch his bag and take a white box out of it.

For the past one week he had me thinking that he was going to make me something. I was asking him if the gift was edible, usable etc etc.

I told him that I was very nervous when I was holding the white box in my hands, sitting by the bed, looking down at him. I was indeed very nervous. I slowly slide open the box, revealing the content bit by bit. I started to cry when I caught a glimpse of it.

It was a watch. I have been looking for a decent watch for the past few months. I’ld go into watch shops and browse around whenever I see one in a shopping mall. Sometimes he was with me. I did not think that he would keep that in mind. But when I saw that pretty watch greeting me from the box, I knew he did.

“So you made this huh?”, I asked. He smiled and I saw that the corner of his right eye was wet. I later found out that he had been looking around for a nice watch for the past two months too. My heart melted.

He was still sick the next day so we did nothing fancy. Spent whole day with him at his place. Though being sick, he did try his best to keep me happy. Did the usual thing. Dinner, blow candle, eat cake.

And yea. No pictures yet. I forgot to bring my camera. Heh.

Buhbyez.

I spotted something new in my counter.

*click to enlarge*

Its a map. A Google Map to be exact. So from now onwards, I get to see where my readers are reading from, on a map! Give you a more precise location of your reader as you can zoom in and out of the map. Every state is laballed. Well, you cant see the readers though. Well, not like we want to stalk people, right?! I know its a not a big deal to have a map in the counter… but its so cute! *sakai*

I love my StatCounter.

*Just in case any other counter has already got a google map long time ago, I didnt know. So urm…just keep quiet if I just made a fool out of myself. Heh*

Is when you wake up from sleep and open your eyes, the first thing you see is the person you love.

Sometimes I dont know what to do when I feel lost. Its rather amusing that at that point, someone actually asked me what he/she should do because he/she is feeling lost.

I get tired emotionally so easily these days. I think I focus too much on things. But if I dont focus on them, I wont want to do them at all. I am very stubborn and thats slowly spliting me up from within.

Or maybe I should just get a life and stop living in other people’s and let other people live in mine instead. Maybe that can make me feel slightly better and slightly more worthy because I sometimes feel lower that those dirt we step on.

Since the day he left, I asked my self over a thousand times why didnt he take me. I tell myself over and over again that I belong here and here is where I can find happiness again. But everytime I try to do that, I fall harder. Which makes me ask, why didnt he take me with him, again. Because I was happiest with him.

I really do want to stay away from that thought. But people around me are not letting me.

I am officially the black sheep of the family. Just because I do not show how sad and how much affected I am doesnt mean that I am not, mom. I know that you have been very generous to us, fulfilling out every wish, but those can never fill up the emptiness in my heart.

I have been trying to be someone whom I am not recently. I am begining to doubt if that is a good thing. It does make people around me feel better, I guess. But Its slowly acting up on me. I am not as strong as I might seem to be. But even my own mom assumed that I am a mighty superwoman whom can take in the worst. I guess I am only to blame for putting up a wrong image for everyone. I think I am better of alone.

I think I am cursed. Cursed to have sad birthday every year. 4 days to turning 21. Its supposed to be something exciting. But all I feel now is sadness.

My car died in the middle of LDP yesterday at noon.

We created a massive traffic jam and we almost died of heat inside.

CCTV on LDP brought some Litrak guys to tow us away.

We waited at the bus stop for my mechanic.

People mocked us by waving. We waved back. It was fun.

Mechanic said some wire inside snapped.

I am still waiting for his call to inform me to cllect my car.

Wendy has gone back to Kuching today. My room seems dead again.

Bah.

Love this.