Getting fat.

I often wonder what would I do if I gain 10kgs of weight in a very short period. I’ld probably jump out of the window from 10th floor. I am not thin now but gaining 10kgs will make me weight 57kgs.

I would have to face the fear of not being able to fit into any of my clothes, not being able to wear really skimpy outfit(when i have the mood), will have to watch what I eat and etc! My stomach would be so big that I wont be able to see my toes!

My self confidence is almost hitting the floor now. If I gained 10kgs of extra weight, I wont get out of the house no more. I wont be able to face people. They’ll go “wah…u gained weight!”, “did i get thinner or did u gain weight?” etc etc. How can one stand such cruel statements?

I often complaint that I am fat. But after seeing some of my friends’(whom have gained lots of weight) recent pictures, I felt guilty for complaining. Althought I am not exactly slim, I should be thankful that I am not overweight.

But if I continue to eat they way I eat now, I am sure I’ll be like them soon. I start to get hungry 2 hrs after my meal. Then I’ll munch non stop on junk food(if i have any near me) until the next meal. Someone stop me from eating >.<